The Good Fight

My Journey Update for @fertilegirl

Definition of “fighting the good fight”
"to try very hard to do what is right"  - Merriam-Webster

Isn’t that exactly what motherhood is?

When Alison asked me to write an update for Fertile Girl, I wasn’t sure what I wanted to focus on. Becoming a mom has been the most exhilarating, overwhelming, incredible, life transforming and blissfully insane experience of my life and I didn’t know where to start! Then I realized that I didn’t want the focus to necessarily be on the fact that I’m now a mom or that I “won” my infertility struggle. I know that there’s so many out there who are still struggling, just starting to struggle, or who are just at the start of their conceiving journey and are already feeling helpless. So, instead, I decided to focus on something I gained from my infertility journey that has stuck with me even in new motherhood.

Even after we give birth, we never stop fighting for motherhood. We fight for it whether we sneeze and get pregnant or spend years getting there, we work FOR it and IN it. In my initial post, which I wrote at 8 months pregnant, I talked about how wearing my blood thinner bruises with pride and being my biggest advocate were two things that got me pregnant. I now wear a C-section scar with pride and that advocacy trait has gotten even more real. My birth story includes advocating for an ultimate C-section to demanding I be allowed to breastfeed my baby in the NICU. My self-advocacy has also involved making my own decision to continue breastfeeding even when pediatricians advised that formula would be the solution to fixing my daughter’s gas and colic. I really feel that the fight I fought to get pregnant, prepared me to know that I may have a gut feeling that trumps any medical diagnosis or advice that exists. 

Believe in yourself. Self- advocate. Fight for what you feel is right for you. If you think you have an issue, fertility or otherwise, act on it. If want to lay on that table for an hour after your embryo transfer, demand it. If you want to breastfeed even though you can barely lift yourself into a wheelchair to roll you and your IV pole to the NICU, and no one is telling you what to do, just do it. My innate inclinations during my fertility journey and then, in new motherhood, have given me the confidence and ability to believe in myself like I never thought possible. Motherhood starts the moment we decide we want to become a mom and it’s the most empowering experience from start to neverending finish; because, let’s be real, we’re all out there fighting the good fight.